Do Not Worry

Do Not Worry

  
²⁵ “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? ²⁷ Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
²⁸ “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; ²⁹ and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ³⁰ Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
³¹ “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. ³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

(http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+6&version=NKJV)

Nancy directed me to Matthew 6:33.  She said, "But it's when we're seeking Jesus himself, and not the things (peace, contentment) that we actually find them."

I read more of the chapter and realized that this goes perfectly with my struggle to reduce stress and anxiety.  I am a worrier, and I'm hoping that I will be able to trust more that He will take care of things, and be able to worry less that way.

Why and a Plan

So, that last post was kind of random and rambly, huh?

Here's the deal:

Several months ago, when I found out one of my good friends was going lose her baby to a rare genetic condition (Baby Olivia), I decided it was time to get serious about my faith.  I knew then, and feel even more strongly now, that people who have a strong faith seem to get through hard times more easily.  And although I DON'T have a strong faith, I want to be one of those people.

My bloggy friend Jackie and I talked about this, and asked me if I had a "plan."  I didn't, besides go to church more often, and maybe find my Bible.  Well, neither of those things have materialized.

So my new "plan" is to:

1. collect meaningful Bible verses here.
2. Go to church more often.
3. Find my Bible.  Pathetic, I know.
4. Talk about my questions, doubts, and beliefs here, with you guys.

Any other suggestions?

Getting Started

I'm not going to try to be super eloquent here.  If I think about what I'm writing too much, I'm afraid I will edit too much and my true thoughts/feelings won't be apparent.

I just watched a video at Goodeness Gracious that inspired me to start this blog.  You don't HAVE to watch the video, my response will give you quite a bit of information about how it affected me.  But I have a feeling it will affect others in different ways, according to YOUR personal struggles, so I would recommend it anyway. 
Here is the video:


And here was my response:

The little religion tidbit at the end hit me hard. I've been struggling with my faith, but through this struggle, I've learned that those who have a strong, unwavering faith, seem to get through harder times more easily, and are generally happier. That's what I love about Mormon blogs. weird, huh?

The vulnerability part doesn't speak to me as much, but this whole thing is making me think maybe I should start a more private blog to explore religion, and invite some of my close bloggy friends to read it.

There, I said the vulnerability part doesn't speak to me, yet I don't want my struggle with faith to be completely public. Maybe I should watch the video again.

Oh geesh. Then, I just watched the part about perfecting our children. Now, I'm feeling "shame." (Now you're getting a play-by-play as I pause, type, watch, pause, type.)

One last reaction: I am a "green" according to the Real Colors test. Greens are always trying to make things better. Always. And that includes bettering myself. I just can't get the idea that "I'm enough" through my head.

I'm very comfortable in social situations, and don't have any problem sharing personal things about myself with near strangers or people I've newly met. In fact, for me it's easier to share things with those people than it would be to share them with my mom, or my in-laws, etc.

But, I don't feel like "I'm enough." I feel like I could be a better parent, and a better housekeeper, and a better wife, and a better farm manager. And a better teacher, although thank God, that one's not my main focus like it was the last 3 years.

I'm afraid that if I say "I'm enough" then I will be a lazy bum. And I truly feel most worthy when I am most productive. And I want that productivity to show in a clean, organized house and smart kid (there, I said it) and I want to be verbally appreciated and thanked for that productivity, too.

Man-oh-man. I better go start my new blog. And I better use this "comment" as my first post, don't you think?